Tension
by xoxAmyxox
Summary: Tension can ruin people's lives. Mac POV Mac/Stella ONE SHOT.


Tension

Tension

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.

Thanks for all your lovely reviews on my other stories, the more reviews I get the more stories I'll write. My exams are nearly over so I'll be able to start doing more!

Tension breaks people.

I don't think I can do this job if she's not goning to be in with me. I've been kidding myself since Claire died and convinced everyone I could stand on my own two feet but I can't without her. My life isn't a life without her in it and here am I, sitting at my desk with her resignation papers in my hands and I can't help but think it was partly my fault. I push myself to the limits at work, knowing I can handle it but I forget that not everyone can.

This case has been a bitch. A single mom found with her throat slashed in her apartment. Neighbours called 911 when they could hear her 4 week old son screaming for his afternoon feed. Her face as we found the child in the moses basket, blood slattered on his tiny little face. She ran straight to him and scooped him up and his crying subsided immediately, Stella has a wonderful gift for being able to bond with children. The only thing is, she can't let them go at the end.

She extracted herself from the case and set her heart on caring for the little boy, claiming that there was no one else. When I saw her face I just couldn't say no, even though I'll have to watch her heart break right infront of me. She'd make the best mother and I hope it happens to her one day. We skate around reality for a couple of days but then child services come along.

I can't stop them from taking him away from her, if I had any power on this earth to do that I would. I would run a thousand miles, walk on fire, anything to make her happy. Child services had found the little baby's birth father who supposedly had no idea that he had a son. So he took him home and poor Stella was left heartbroken as I expected without a doubt.

I don't see her for the next couple of days which is strange for our relationship. Even if we're not working cases together we always seek an opportunity to grab a coffee or get a bite to eat somewhere. I try to call her but she doesn't answer and I contemplate using the key she gave me _for emergencies _just because I'm so desperate to see if she's alright, I know she probably won't. She needs someone to be with her. But I disgress, if she hasn't called it means she doesn't want to be disturbed.

By the third day, I'm at the end of my nerve with worry about her. I'm about to give in and go to her apartment when Danny drops the bombshell that I never expected. DNA found at the scene belonged to the baby's birth father, the same father who said he'd never even known he had a son. Maybe that was true but the facts put the baby in serious danger, the baby I took away from the most loving person I know. By the time I get there it's too late.

Feeling overwhelmed with guilt, I can't bring myself to even tell her. Fate deals us another blow, blows us further apart when I want nothing more than to hold her close to me. I'll understand if she never wants to speak to me again. Flack asks me if I've spoken to Stella recently and when I tell him I haven't, he seems very surprised. He tells me I should go over there because I'm the one she'll want to see but I doubt that very much. I take his advice anyway to find out for myself. It's better than being left in the lurch.

I don't use my key, I knock gently on the door and call her name.

"I need to tell you something" I say wondering what the odds are that she knows already. I'm about to walk away when the door opens and I see Stella standing before me. Despite her casual attire I don't think I've ever seen her so beautiful, even though she looks as if she hasn't slept for a few nights, she still looks beautiful to me. She doesn't say anything but opens the door wider so I can come in. My heart is pounding, I think our friendship is over. I see her TV switched on and the news flash reports what I was about to tell her.

"Stella I…" I begin but she's in no mood for apologies.

"You, you let them take him away and look what happened!" she says, close to tears, I know she hates crying infront of me and is trying desperatly hard not to now.

"They took him away and put him in the hands of a monster, and you stood there and did nothing" she says, I try to defend myself but seeing her so upset makes me stumble, I just want us to get back to normal but I know things are not going to be easy.

"I didn't know, no one could have known this was going to happen, Stella I'm sorry, you know I'd never put a child in harms way" I say, she looks as if she's going to slap me but I don't think she has enough energy.

"That baby is dead! Mac, the baby I said I would care for, and I did, I still have his moses basket, the little teddies I bought for him, the clothes, the toys…I so badly wanted to be a mother" she says, the tone of her voice breaks my heart. To think that I've played a part in all this makes me want the ground to swallow me whole.

"I know, I know" I say, my voice too is cracking with emotion. My actions caused the loss of a newborn baby, I don't want those actions to cause the loss of my best friend either. The friend, who over the years I've come to love so deeply, I don't think I can live a day without her. I stand in silence, knowing that what I have done may be impossible to fix. The tension between us is so thick I find it phsically impossible to move close to her. It's like magnet repelling against each other.

"I want you to leave Mac" she says.

"Stella, I can't leave you, I just can't" I beg, on verge of sobbing, I can't loose her I really can't.

"Just, please go" she says turning her back to me. So I do the only thing that will make her happy. I walk out of her life a broken man and for what I believe I deserved it.

The next morning I found the envelope on my desk, on the front is her handwriting and I fear what it is before I even open it. Tears spill onto the paper and smudge the ink. I wipe them away and compose myself before facing the team. But they face me before I have a chance. Danny, Lindsey and Hawkes burst into my office all at once demanding to know why their friend is gone.

"The baby case" I say, I don't want to talk about it now. I don't want to talk about anything to anyone. I just want to be left alone. Danny and Hawkes storm off but when I look up Lindsey is still standing there.

"Why don't you go after her?" Lindsey asks.

"I don't know where she is, or where she's going on when, I don't know Lindsey I don't know anything! She didn't even say goodbye!" I say angry at myself for letting it get this far. Lindsey is not effected by my outburst and stays rooted to the spot.

"Go after her…" she tells me again, does she not understand what I just said?

I look up at her unable to speak.

"You'd better hurry up, her flight leaves in 4 hours" she says a slight smile on her face.

"How did you know?" I ask.

"She came to my place last night and told me what happened between you two. She's got a flight to San Francisco at 12, if you leave now you might just catch her" Lindsey says hopefully. I get up from my desk and envelope her in a hug.

"Thank you" I say before rushing out of the lab without another word.

I dash to the airport praying that it's not too late, I'm quite tempted to turn on my emergency lights to quicken up the traffic.

When I get there I park badly outside the main enterence and leave my badge in full view in order to get out of a parking ticket.

"Can you tell me which gate the 12 o clock to San Francisco is leaving?" I say breathless.

"I'm afraid you are too late for checking in sir" the woman says. I know she's only doing my job.

"I know, I've got to catch a friend, she's making a big mistake" I say, the woman looks at me sympathetically.

"Gate 4, Hurry sir" she says. I'm off through the airport without even thanking her.

I'm so close to gate 4 and I search the crowds looking for her beautiful face. When I get there a guard stops me. Damn, I shouldn't have left my badge in the car.

"Can I see your bording pass, sir?" the beefy guard asks me. I shake my head.

"I don't have one" I say.

"If you want to get past this point then you'll have to get a flight ticket" he says impatiently. I don't think he's going to buy my sob story.

"Ok, where can I buy a ticket?" I say desperatly, there just isn't enough time for this. I follow the direction in which he points and there is a ridiculously long que. I wait for about half an hour until I am served and I finally reach the desk.

"Good day sir, how can I help you?" a man asks me, I pull out my credit card and slap it down on the counter.

"One way ticket to San Francisco, please" I say, he takes the card from me.

"the only seats we have left are in first class" he says checking his computer.

"Fine" I shrug, looking at the clock.

"that will be 700 please" he says, right now I don't care about money. I just need her. The transaction takes place smoothly and I have my ticket firmly in my hand as I approach the security guard again.

"Enjoy your flight, Sir" he says in a completely different attitude to what he had before.

It's 10 to 12 and I run as fast as I can to the boarding gate, she is just about to hand over her ticket.

"Stella wait!" I say, she turns to look at me and sighs when she sees it's me. The ticket collector gives me a bemused look.

"What?" she snaps. As if she couldn't work out why I am here?

"Don't go, please don't go, Stella please" I beg, I keep telling myself that I would never cry in a public place but I've got a feeling I'm about to left myself down.

"Mac, why are you doing this?" she says stepping out of the que to let the other passengers past. Whe she gets close enough I take her by the shoulders.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what I can do to make everything all right between us, but just say here, please I'll do anything. You'll never have to do dumpster duty, I'll do what ever you want. Please, I won't be able to cope without, I need you Stella" I say, I'm not sure if I've drawn attension to myself but quite frankly, I don't care. She just stands there in shock, I see her eyes well up in tears.

"I love you" I say, if that doesn't make her stay then nothing will. I've never been so completely honest with anyone since the death of my wife and I'm about to loose the only person I could ever think of spending the rest of my life with. There is silence still and I'm terrified at what her response will be.

"I'm sorry, I made a mistake" I say suddenly, realising how much of a fool I've made myself look. I close my eyes unable to look at her as I turn and walk away from the love of my life. No matter where she is, I think to myself, I will always love her.

Suddenly I feel a force pull my coat. Stella spins me round and before I say anything her lips are on mine and she holds me in a passionate kiss. My head is spinning as I deepen the kiss, I could stay like this forever. We stand there in the middle of a busy airport wrapped in each others embrace. Her hands are on my face and mine hands play with the cirles in her hair. All my anger and desperation melts away and the only thing that matters are her, and her kiss. We brake for air and she nuzzles her face into the crook of my neck, her hot breath sends shivers down my spine. I'm not sure how long we stay like that but when she pulls away I feel like a completely different man. I would give the world for this woman and nothing is going to stop me now.

She pulls away and takes my hands in hers.

"Take me home" she says, I don't question whose home she means, to me that doesn't really matter. Her home is New York, My home is in her heart.


End file.
